


The Critic

by forabeatofadrum (maanorchidee)



Series: A New Direction OCs in a Klaine drabble [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 10:25:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10897410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maanorchidee/pseuds/forabeatofadrum
Summary: They call themselves The Critic. No one knows who they are and why they started an interactive review page, but it’s making all the restaurant owners in New York crazy, including Blaine Anderson.





	The Critic

It all started two years ago, right around the time Blaine Anderson opened his humble restaurant in New York. He’s never had any problems with money, and he’s a great cook, so he decided to use that to follow his dream to open a restaurant that serves quality meals at an affordable price, in the hope to feed more people that struggle with getting by. Back then, the only worries were about being able to keep up, and to hire quality waitstaff and chefs, and to find publicity. Now, he shares the same worry with all the New York based restaurant owners: a bad review from The Critic.

Blaine’s restaurant (named Dalton in memory of his alma matter burning down) hasn’t been visited by The Critic yet and it’s a blessing and a curse. On one hand, there’s no chance of Dalton getting a bad review, on the other hand, he still has to dread The Critic’s arrival a bit longer.

He has a reason to dread The Critic: no one knows who’s behind it. The Critic has been reviewing restaurants anonymously.

They showed up two years ago on the internet. The Critic, short for The Interactive New York Restaurant Critic, started putting their reviews on their blog under that name. They review the restaurants on a couple of aspects: hygiene, quality and price ratio, staff, diversity in menu, and even style of the interior. They give it a rating, ranging from -3 to 3. But here’s what makes them unique: their reviews are interactive.

People can comment on their reviews, anonymous or not, and therefore can change the rating. The actual opinion and blog post will remain, but the rating might go up or down. That being said, many people think highly of the Critic’s own opinion, so they do have a lot of influence.

Blaine knows their reasons to stay anonymous and he gets them. No one sponsors The Critic, no one is affliated with The Critic, no one knows when The Critic is in their restaurant. The Critic doesn’t make notes while eating. They wanted to make sure they get no special treatment what’s however. The public has been fed up with obviously influenced restaurant reviews, so that and the fact that it’s interactive ensured The Critic’s success.

Of course, just like many other restaurant owners and news sites, Blaine has speculated about The Critic’s identity. He obviously doesn’t know their age or gender or etnicity or even sexuality, but quite frankly, they’re irrelevant to this.

Many pointed out that The Critic mostly reviews smaller restaurants, instead of food chains. Sure, they’ve been to McDonald’s, but that’s because it’s a must. (It got a 0, by the way). Others were quick to realise that their price range isn’t very high. They’ve reviewed some of the high and mighty, but most restaurants are around Dalton’s price range, mostly a bit higher. The Critic is very diverse with restaurants and foods. Not only based on menu’s, but also on placing and backgrounds. Hell, they even reviewed a couple of food trucks.

There’s no photo evidence of The Critic. They always open their blog post with a picture of the restaurant’s flyer or business card, proving that they’ve been there, but it’s always with the same white, unassuming, background. One time, they did post a shadow of themselves to prove they’re a real person, but it gave nothing away.

Sure, some New Yorkers claim they’re a fraud and secretly sponsored at all, but even though it would bring some kind of status, every restaurant denies it and so do they. Others claim they don’t exist and it’s all for show, but the general public believes in them, so Blaine has every reason to be anxious.

Some were against their existence. People have called them out, saying they’re not an actual food critic and that they clearly have no idea what they’re talking about and that their reviews lack quality. The Critic called them out by saying that sure, they’re right, but that’s the point. They know nothing of writing quality reviews on food, cause they’re just an average New Yorker. 

Blaine used to check every person dining by their own, until The Critic posted on their blog that they go out alone, or with friends, or with a date, or with twenty people at once. And no one knows they are The Critic. They’re even anonymous to their own surroundings. The purpose of The Critic is to eat at restaurants like a regular costumer. It’s just that they write highly anticipated reviews afterwards. It is nerve-wracking for restaurant owners, because they have no way to prepare themselves, which is the point.

Blaine’s biggest nightmare is a bad review. He’s heard that restaurants actually closed down after they got a -3.

He used to check The Critic’s blog every hour, until his friend and roommate Wes forbade him to check it before 10pm and he told him to promise Wes to only check it once. Whereas Blaine’s still anxious about The Critic’s inevitable review of Dalton, it has cleared his head a bit more.

Wes doesn’t like The Critic, but that’s because they gave his aunt’s Chinese restaurant a 1 rating. Sure, it’s not below zero, but Wes thinks his aunt deserves a 3. Blaine hasn’t told him yet that Wes’s aunt uses too much garlic.

“Look, Blaine, I know you’re afraid of a bad Critic Review, but do you really think that would happen?” Wes says.

“You never know, Wes!”

“The food’s good and relatively cheap, the place is clean, you have a diverse menu that changes every now and then, your restaurant is very styleful, and ever since you fired Brody, your staff is excellent. You really have nothing to worry about.”

“Wes, it gave some restaurant with the same status as Daniel a -1!” Blaine reminds his friend.

“Whatever, Blaine, whatever.”

* * *

There’s a man sitting in Blaine’s restaurant.

That isn’t unusual. Dalton is a restaurant after all, but Blaine can’t stop staring at him. He ordered a meal and a drink from Dani and he sat down. 

Again, Blaine can’t stop staring. He knows it’s rude, but that man is too stunning not to look at. Dani smiles knowingly. She’s one of Blaine’s best waitresses and he’s even thinking about promoting her, but she’s so good to lose as a waitress.

When the food’s ready, he’s not surprised when Dani pushes it towards Blaine. Blaine rolls his eyes and he brings the plate to the man’s table.

“Good evening, the tortellini with spinach and buffalo cheese?”

The man smiles, and Blaine swears, he feels like melting.

“Thank you,” the man says.

* * *

A week later, the man is back, this time accompanied by two women. The blonde cut her pancake in the shape of a unicorn, while the dark haired woman put some of her ramen on the man’s plate.

Blaine tries not to be too obvious, but he keeps walking around their table, hoping to catch a name at least- and he succeeds.

“Kurt, you were absolutely right,” the blonde woman says happily, “This restaurant is really great.”

“Yes, Kitty should bring her new boyfriend to this place for their date,” the dark haired woman adds, “I am definitely planning on going here with my girlfriend.” She smiles towards the blonde.

“But Santana, we’re already here.”

“Next time, without Kurt.”

“I take offense by that,” Kurt says, “I cannot live without this place. Good thing they also do take-out.”

“Well then, maybe you should find yourself a man so that you can bring him here.”

Blaine hates falling so hard in such a small amount of time, but he wishes he could be Kurt’s date. At least, he could arrange free meals.

* * *

Five days later, Kurt is back. This time, with a whole group of people, including Santana and her girlfriend. 

Once again, Blaine walks around, pretending not to be a creeper. He asked Dani to do it, since Dani’s already figured out that Blaine might have a thing for Kurt, but Dani’s very reluctant to do so. It’s very un-Dani-like, but she must have her reasons.

“Kurt, you were absolutely right,” Blaine overhears, and he almost does a double take when he realises it’s male model Sam Evans, “When you first said you wanted to go to an unknown restaurant for the glee club reunion, I thought you were crazy.”

“I agree,” Broadway star Rachel Berry says.

Blaine can’t believe it when he sees this… this _entourage_ of people. He sees Kurt, Santana, and Santana’s girlfriend, but sitting next to them are independent movie director Artie Abrams, upcoming indie movie star Tina Cohen-Chang, National champion-winning glee club director Finn Hudson, professional dancer Mike Chang, Grammy nominated musician Mercedes Jones, public speaker and chairwoman of multiple feminist associations Quinn Fabray, failed but still well-known screenwriter Noah Puckerman, and New York socialite Kitty Wilde.

He slowly realises that Santana is Santana Lopez and that means her girlfriend must be Brittany S. Pierce.

“I am so putting this place online,” Mercedes says, and Blaine cannot believe it. Mercedes Jones wants to recommend Dalton to her fans? _Mercedes Jones?_

But then he hears something else.

“Has The Critic said anything about this place?” Quinn asks, but Kurt shakes his head. 

“Oh please, Quinn, you don’t even live in New York. Don’t tell me you do not actually listen to The Critic as well,” Rachel rolls her eyes.

“You just can’t stand it that someone in New York is more famous than you,” Puck says.

“I am just saying that this entire Critic madness is stupid,” Rachel says, “They don’t even have the guts to tell the public their name. For all we know, they’re a fraud and yet they have New York wrapped around their finger. No one cares about quality reviewers anymore. Everyone follows The Critic without thinking.”

“Correction: you just can’t stand it that someone _anonymous_ in New York is more famous than you,” Kitty rolls her eyes, “For all we know, The Critic could be in this room at this very moment, listening to you.”

“Do you guys really think The Critic is here, right now?” Kurt sighs.

“Hey, you never know!” Kitty says, “They can be everywhere. On the day I was at the Benefit, they were there too, but I never noticed.” She turns around to face Mike, but then she spots Blaine.

Blaine immediately thinks of a plan. “Would you guys like anything else to drink?”

“Are you working here?” Mike is eyeing him. Blaine doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t wear a waiter’s uniform.

“Oh, I happen to be the owner, but really, can I get you guys anything?” Blaine says and he looks around, trying to spot Dani, but apart from Elliott and Adam, Dani is nowhere to be seen, and she should be running this section.

“Yes,” Puck says loudly, causing others to look.

Blaine takes out his noteblock and pen. “Yes?”

Puck grins mischievously. “You can get a date with my boy Kurt,” he says happily and he puts his arm around Kurt, who’s frozen in his seat.

“Puck! Inappropriate!” Quinn hisses.

“Oh come on, Quinn, even Santana has told us that Kurt’s been making heart eyes towards this guy. That’s why he keeps coming back,” Puck talks to Quinn, as if he’s completely forgotten that both Kurt and Blaine are around him.

“I’d like a glass of water,” Mercedes quickly says to Blaine, hoping to make it less awkward, but she fails.

* * *

The day afterwards, Kurt is back.

Blaine doesn’t want to meet his eyes, and strangely enough, Dani isn’t paying attention to him either. Brett helps Kurt, but Kurt’s clearly not in the mood to be helped by him.

“Actually, I was looking for the boss?”

Blaine tries to shake his head in a non-obvious way, but before he can succeed, he hears Brett say: “Yeah, just a minute.”

Brett makes his way to Blaine and he tells him there’s someone looking for him. Blaine tries to laugh it away, but it isn’t working. Against his better judgement, Blaine decides to talk to Kurt.

“Uhm, hello?” he says to Kurt. Kurt immediately turns around and to Blaine’s relief, he smiles when he sees Blaine.

“Hello there.”

“Is there anything I could do for you?”

“Yes. I am here to apologize for yesterday’s actions,” Kurt says, looking a bit ashamed.

“Ah…” Blaine knows what Kurt’s talking about. After Puck kept talking about Kurt and Blaine’s apparent love, Kurt got up and left without a word. Both Blaine and Puck were speechless. Blaine was actually very tempted to, well, get Puck’s order.

But Kurt wasn’t interested.

Right?

“I didn’t mean to leave like that. I don’t know what you must’ve thought of me, but I got a bit overwhelmed. Puck… he’s something else. I’m sorry for him, but he just wanted to see me happy.”

“Friends can do weird things, yeah,” Blaine says knowlingly. He still hasn’t fully forgiven Wes for the Disaster of 2016, which no one’s allowed to speak about.

“He’s just… he’s right.” _What._  “But I didn’t know what to do and every time that happens, I just shut down and leave and what I’m trying to say is that I’d like to, well, order a date with you if that’s possible.” _WHAT?_ “I was going to call the restaurant, but I decided to do it in person, because I didn’t want to give your poor waitstaff a stroke by asking for “a date with the boss” and oh God, I’m still talking why am I still talking, aren’t you this close to calling security yet? Jesus, I don’t even have your number or your name for God’s sake and wow-”

“Kurt, please, stop,” Blaine says, but he’s laughing. 

Kurt takes a deep breath. “Sorry, I tend to get nervous around cute guys, it’s a thing I do.”

“Well, first of all, my name is Blaine. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Blaine.”

Blaine takes one of Dalton’s business cards of the counter and writes down his number underneath the restaurant’s number. “Here you go.”

“T-Thank you.”

“And yes, one date, coming up. I’ll tell the chef,” Blaine says and winks, “Although maybe you should call me back later, after work, to make sure the order has been received.”

* * *

Their first date isn’t at Dalton, of course not.

Their second date is, though. 

After their third date, they become offical.

* * *

“Okay, what is your deal with Kurt, Dani?”

Kurt’s once again in the restaurant, but this time he’s waiting for Blaine to finish work, so that they can watch a movie later. Dani never greets Kurt, and today is no exception.

“If I’m correct, you wanted me to date him. Now I am, but you’re not as happy for me as I expected.”

“Oh, I am happy for you, boss.” She only calls him ‘boss’ when she has something to tell him. “Kurt’s genuinely a nice guy, but I am just a little bit bitter about my past love life. I didn’t recognize him up until he arrived at Dalton with his entourage of famous friends.”

“So?”

“Including Santana Lopez.”

Blaine mentions to her to go on.

“And her wife, Brittany S. Pierce.”

And out of nowhere, Dani burst into tears.

“Dani!” Blaine rushes to hug her, and other employees turn around when they hear Dani cry. Kurt’s watching them with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry, boss, I didn’t mean to. I should be happy for her, but I just miss her a lot. I miss her a lot.”

She cries for a couple of more minutes, until Blaine sends her home. Even though the amount of costumers has risen after Mercedes Jones posted her food on Instagram, it’s a slow night.

He leaves with Kurt an hour later.

“That’s Dani White, am I right?”

“You know her?” Blaine asks.

“I used to. I didn’t know for sure it was her until you said her name out loud just now. She used to be Santana’s girlfriend until Brittany came back from MIT to be with her,” Kurt says solemnly, “It’s been five years, but I always expected Dani never got over Santana.”

“I can’t imagine loving someone so much and losing them,” Blaine says sadly. Sure, he has dated some guys. He’s even loved some of them, but even though it hurt to break up with them, he always got over it. 

“I can imagine loving someone so much,” Kurt says silently, and he turns to Blaine, “I just hope I won’t lose him.”

Blaine stops walking.

“You love me?”

Kurt just smiles and keeps walking.

“I repeat: you love me?” Blaine says again and he can feel himself smiling. A warm feeling fills him. Kurt loves him. Kurt _loves_ him.

“I do.”

Before Kurt can start walking again, Blaine stops him and kisses him. 

* * *

After that, he spends most of his time with Kurt. He still cares a lot about Dalton, especially after Dani apologized for her behaviour (”You did nothing wrong, Dani.”). 

It’s not that he’s forgotten about The Critic.

It’s just that most of his time, his thoughts are somewhere else.

He and Kurt have been together for half a year when Blaine stumbles inside his apartment around midnight. Wes is watching a movie with his girlfriend Mae in the living room.

“Look who’s happy,” Wes grins.

“What else did you expect?” Blaine sing-songs while hanging his coat on the coat rack.

“Honestly, how can you not be happy with such a review?” Wes says happily, “Dude, I am proud of you.”

Blaine turns to face him. “What?”

“What?”

Wes fishes his phone out of his pocket. “Dude, The Critic has been to Dalton! They reviewed your place, Blaine.” He gets up from the couch and pushes his phone into Blaine’s grip.

Blaine starts reading, and he almost drops the phone when he sees his rating.

“A 3? Wes, I got a fucking 3!” he yells. The neighbours must’ve heard him, but Blaine doesn’t mind. They can complain if he wants to, but Blaine’s restaurant got a 3, the highest possible. In the last two and a half years, The Critic has only given a 3 to five restaurants or so, and they’ve reviewed half of New York.

“Read the actual review!” Mae yells.

* * *

_**DALTON: RATING 3** _

_Okay, since this blog is all about honesty, I’m going to be honest with you. I first went to this restaurant quite a while ago. You know how this works by now, or at least, I hope so._

_I go to a restaurant, I come home, I post the review the day afterwards._

_This restaurant is different._

_No worries, I did write the review you’re about to read right after the first night, but I couldn’t post it because I felt like I needed more. I have written a review for every night I’ve spent at Dalton, but since this is all about objectivity, I will only post the first one and its first rating for now (although, I was this close to changing the rules and giving this place a 4 several times)._

_Then why did it take me so long to actually post this?_

_Simply: Dalton is gorgeous, and I kept going back because I couldn’t get enough of their food. And every time, I told myself: “Critic, you gotta upload the review!” but I kept forgetting because I kept going to a state of peace and calm and well, heaven, after every visit, making me forget about this blog and about being The Critic. It was me, an actual New Yorker, genuinely enjoying it._

_Anyway, enough talk. Time for the review._

> _**Name:** Dalton  
> _ _ **Website for information:** [www.daltonrestaurant.com](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Foo&t=ZjE2YWI4NWIxOGRiYjJhNjI3MWY5YjY5ZTUxOWYzNTk3MGM1NWNiMiw2aEgxeTlVdg%3D%3D&b=t%3A1_FbMVvKlyXyfeQlKE-AmQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fforabeatofadrum.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160596772833%2Fthe-critic&m=1)  
> _ _ **Cuisine:** mixed  
> _ __ **Price range:** $  
>  **Rating:** 3 ([click here to up or down the rating](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fnot%2520an%2520actual%2520link&t=OWIxMDliYjY0ZDE1Y2M1OTk2MGMwZmRlYzZlYmU1OTZiMGVmMzcxZCw2aEgxeTlVdg%3D%3D&b=t%3A1_FbMVvKlyXyfeQlKE-AmQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fforabeatofadrum.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160596772833%2Fthe-critic&m=1))
> 
> __**Menu:** small, but great and diverse  
>  **Staff:** nice and hard-working  
>  **Hygiene:** A+  
>  **Price quality ratio:** perfect  
>  **Interior design:** very beautiful  
>  **Extra notes:** PERFECT! IT IS A MUST-GO.
> 
> _Dalton is something different, but it is definitely a good different. When I first heard of this restaurant, I didn’t know what to expect. Quality food for that price seemed impossible, and I have reviewed a lot of cheap, but great places._
> 
> _The first thing that makes Dalton different is the menu. It’s very diverse and it ranges from simple meals to very complex ones._
> 
> _There’s also an incredible atmosphere. There’s nothing wrong with the waitstaff. They’re not only friendly towards you, but also towards each other and to the man who I presume is the boss. _Dalton is a small place. I guess that most of the time, there are only three or four waiters working every evening, but that makes it an intimate and cosy place.__
> 
> _Of course, I cannot tell you what I ordered yesterday, since I still don’t want restaurant owners finding out who I am, but let me tell you that is was delicious. Not too salty, not too sweet, not too “too”. Compliments to the chef. For the first time in a while, I wish I could tell you my order, so that I can go into more detail. Ah, the downside of being anonymous on the internet, I guess._
> 
> _Have you been to Dalton? Tell me your order and opinions in the[comment section down below](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fblub%2520blub&t=NDBkNzI0MDExMmJlMzgwN2E3MmIxNTI2YWEwNmEwZTFmNTdkZTNlMCw2aEgxeTlVdg%3D%3D&b=t%3A1_FbMVvKlyXyfeQlKE-AmQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fforabeatofadrum.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160596772833%2Fthe-critic&m=1), and if you want to, [don’t forget to up or down the rating](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fnother%2520fake%2520link&t=MmFkYzI3YzE3Yjc4ZWJhMjY4MzFkNTAyYjVjMzhlZTFlYjA3M2ExOCw2aEgxeTlVdg%3D%3D&b=t%3A1_FbMVvKlyXyfeQlKE-AmQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fforabeatofadrum.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160596772833%2Fthe-critic&m=1). I am hoping to only see ups for this one._
> 
> _Until the next restaurant._
> 
> _-The Critic._

_Annotation: I am happy to hear that Mercedes Jones has been there and has enjoyed it. Ms. Jones, if you’re reading this: please comment down below. I am curious to see what you ordered._

* * *

“Oh. My. God. Wes?”

“I know right,” Wes smiles brightly. He’s not even complaining about The Critic as usual. “My friend, I know you just got home from a spectacular night with your boyfriend, but we need to celebrate. Right now. Grab your coat, Mae is coming with us.”

* * *

After Mercedes Jones, the amount of costumes rose.

But nothing could prepare Blaine for _this_.

Most of the evenings, half of the tables in the restaurant are reserved. Apart from Kurt’s entourage (as Blaine calls it), no other celebrity had graced the restaurant with their presence yet, until now. Blaine even had to hire more staff to keep up with it and Dani got her promotion to manager after all.

As a gift, Kurt gave Blaine one of those unofficial Critic Stickers to put on his window, displaying Dalton has a 3 rating from The Critic. The Critic themselves don’t give restaurants those stickers, but enough people on the internet sell them anyway. The Critic has written on their blog that even though they will never do that, they don’t mind restaurants displaying their rating by using those stickers. They’re flattered, even.

Kurt is an upcoming designer, but he still spends his time helping Blaine out in Dalton.

“Hey, I can get food for free now. Of course I am helping you out, Blaine!”

Hell, even Wes helps out every now and then. Dalton and his aunt’s restaurant have collaborated. Dani loves bossing him around, but that’s Dani. She’s working on getting over Santana, since she thinks it’s more important that Santana’s happy, and Kurt’s confirmed that she is.

One of his regulars, Sebastian, orders the usual.

Blaine wonders if he’s The Critic.

Every regular might be The Critic.

After the Critic Review went viral, Dalton got a lot more regulars, but some have been there since the beginning. The Critic wrote they’ve gone to Dalton several times before posting the review, but Blaine doesn’t know how old the review is.

Just like every restaurant owner, Blaine’s only proof of The Critic’s existence is the photo they posted at the beginning of their review: the business card. That says absolutely nothing, because even before the Critic Review, a lot of people took those cards with them.

Yes, Blaine might’ve gone back to obsession about The Critic’s idenity, but can you blame him? He wants to thank that person in person.

“Blaine, just be happy The Critic has been here in the first place,” Wes keeps telling him.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Kurt agrees, “You’ve already posted a thank you message on the official Dalton site. They’ll see it for sure.”

“I guess you’re right,” Blaine sighs. He doesn’t have time to dwell on it, since it’s a very busy evening at Dalton and he cannot keep Dani in charge by herself. 

They’re on full staff, and Dottie is in charge of take-out. Blaine feels some kind of pity when he hears the phone ring again. Dani is running around with Blaine most of the time. 

Blaine’s own phone rings. He’s not in the mood to answer a call, especially from a number he doesn’t recognise, but the person keeps calling him so Blaine picks up.

“Blaine speaking?”

“Hello?” there’s a woman on the line.

“Who am I speaking to?” Blaine asks.

“This is Mea Statsons speaking? Is this that Dalton restaurant?” the woman, Mea, asks, and Blaine furrows his brow. He keeps his private information seperate from Dalton’s contact information, so he’s a bit confused. Why is this woman asking him about the restaurant, and how did she even get Blaine’s number?

“I guess?” Blaine decides to say.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been calling the other number the entire time, since I’d like to order take-out, but the line is busy.” She’s right, though. Dottie is being flooded by phone calls. “So I decided to try the other number-”

“Excuse me, ma’am,” Blaine interrupts, “What do you mean by ‘the other number’? There’s only one number.” Oh God, Blaine doesn’t want to have a stalker following him now.

“Don’t call me ma’am, it makes me feel old. I’m talking about the second number on the business card!”

Blaine checks the new arrival of business cards lying on the counter real quick, but nothing’s gone wrong. There’s one number only on the cards.

“There’s no second number on the business card,” Blaine says, “I’m sorry, but I have to ask you to hang up, since I have no idea how you got my private number, but this number is not supposed to be for Dalton.”

“Dude, calm down. I’m talking about the second number on the business card The Critic posted.”

“What?”

“What?”

“The Critic posted _what_?” Blaine asks, already running back to the kitchens so that he can check his tablet.

“The photo of your business card. You know, the “proof”. I know most people are too lazy to look at those pictures for longer than half a second, since the information can be found on the interwebs these days, but I love the graphic design of that thing and I noticed a second number,” she answers, sounding more at ease. She must’ve realised that Blaine really has no idea what she’s talking about.

In the kitchens, he takes his tablet out of his bag and he immediately opens his internet browser. 

“Look man, you gotta check this out. Sorry for bothering you,” Mea says, “I won’t tell anyone. Have a great night, Blaine.” The phone conversation ends, but Blaine doesn’t care. He’s on The Critic’s blog, looking for the Dalton review.

He finds the link and clicks on it. The wifi at Dalton is a bit slow (the only disadvantage) so it takes a while for the picture to load.

It’s a business card.

Blaine’s not surprised to see Dalton’s number on it, but then he freezes when he sees what’s underneath it.

His personal number.

Written underneath Dalton’s phone number

_In his handwriting._

And Blaine knows there’s only one person who owns that card.

The doors to the kitchen fly open and Kurt enters. When he sees Blaine, he seems worried. 

“Are you alright?” he asks, “Dani said you ran back to the kitchens, looking distressed. You were on your phone. Did anything happen?” 

Blaine just stares at him. “It’s you,” he manages to say, but apart from that, he feels numb.

“I’m what?” 

“Is everything alright?” they hear and the next thing Blaine knows, Wes is standing next to him, looking as worried as Kurt.

“Dani said she saw him running towards the kitchen, looking distressed. Her words, not mine,” Kurt says to Wes.

“Take him outside, he looks pale,” Wes tells Kurt, “He might need some air.”

Air is not what Blaine needs. Privacy is.

“I’ll tell Dani you’ll be back. Go!” Kurt doesn’t need to hear it a second time. He’s dragging Blaine outside through the emergency kitchen exits. 

Outside, Blaine the cool New York breeze brings Blaine back to his senses. Sort of. Partially.

Kurt’s still watching him. The Critic is watching him, Blaine realises.

“You’re The Critic,” he says, “I never knew it till now, but you’re The Critic.”

“Blaine, what on Earth are you talking about?” Kurt rolls his eyes, looking a bit annoyed. He doesn’t look like someone who just got busted, but Blaine knows that Kurt graduated from NYADA before he chose the fashion career path, so he knows Kurt’s acting is superb. 

“I know it for sure,” Blaine insists.

“Blaine, why would you even think I’m The Critic? I would’ve told you.”

“No, that’s a lie,” Blaine says, “The Critic has said they’re also anonymous to their surroundings. Kurt, I know it. You posted my business card.”

“The Critic always posts people’s business cards, Blaine.”

“It has my number on it. My personal number. In my handwriting,” Blaine says and this time, Kurt is silent. Blaine unlocks his tablet and he’s happy that The Critic’s review of Dalton is still open.

He shows the photo of the business card to Kurt.

“You’re the only one who has my number on my business card. I gave it to you when you ordered a date with me,” Blaine reminds him, “And I don’t think you did this intentionally, but you posted it and therefore, I know you’re The Critic.”

“Blaine, I…” Kurt trails off. He looks nervous, but then again, Blaine just unmasked him as The Critic. 

“You gave me a 3,” Blaine beams, “A freaking 3!”

“… I did.”

“And you gave it to me because Dalton is excellent, and not because you’re in love with me.”

“That’s true.”

“Thank you!” Blaine yells, which causes Kurt to jump, but Blaine throws himself on his boyfriend, “Thank you so much. I love you! What you wrote about Dalton changed my life.” 

“It wasn’t much,” Kurt says. Always the modest one.

“I know, but to me, it was a lot,” Blaine says happily, “I love you so much!”

Finally, Kurt smiles back. “I love you too.”

* * *

The Critic’s blog is still the to-go site for restaurants in New York, even after almost four years. Unfortunately, the amount of reviews decreases, because The Critic has amazing news: they got a job opportunity.

They thanked their loyal readers, telling them that The Critic won’t leave, but they will post less.

Only two people in New York know why.

Kurt Hummel has finally opened his own fashion house. It’s not much, but after his _entourage_ has bought his stuff, it’s been growing. His fiancé Blaine, restaurant owner of the well-known restaurant Dalton, couldn’t be more proud. Blaine himself has his hands full with Dalton. Dani is helping him out with all her might, and his second manager Elliott keeps the place running.

Only those two people in New York know the identity of The Critic, and they’re not planning on telling anyone. Of course, The Critic strangely enough changed the photo of the business card, but apart from that one time Mea Statsons called Blaine, no one has tried it, so probably no one noticed apart from Kurt and Blaine. They love it that it’s their little secret.

The actual business card hangs on the wall of their apartment, framed.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the meh ending? Anyway, happy 4th birthday Mea Statsons. I originally didn’t write you into this, until I realised I started this on the day that happened to be her birthday. Well, things happen.


End file.
